The film industry and fans across India are coming to terms with the profound loss of legendary actor Dharmendra, who passed away recently after a period of ill health. His departure, just days before his 90th birthday, has left a void felt deeply by the nation and, most acutely, by his family. In this moment of collective mourning, a past, poignant interview with his son, actor Bobby Deol, has resurfaced, capturing the raw emotion of a son grappling with the reality of his parents' ageing.
A Son's Heartfelt Admission
In a candid conversation with host Raj Shamani back in September, Bobby Deol, now 56, opened up about his father with a vulnerability that resonated with millions. The Animal actor described Dharmendra as a "beautiful soul" and expressed a deep-seated wish for his own children to inherit those very qualities.
"I can’t even think of a quality that my dad has that’s bad," Bobby shared, his voice thick with emotion. "I think there’s nobody… no one can be like my dad. I wish my kids could imbibe everything that he is." He went on to highlight the specific traits he admired most: his father's welcoming nature, generosity, understanding, and a unique ability to make everyone feel special. "He gives everyone so much respect and so much love, and that’s a special quality to have," Bobby stated.
The Universal Fear of Time
Bobby's emotional moment, where he nearly choked up, was rooted in a fear familiar to many adults. "I guess I get emotional about it because he is really getting older now," he confessed. "And I wish my parents could live forever and ever." This heartfelt admission touches on a universal human experience—the anxiety and anticipatory grief that accompanies watching one's parents age.
Psychotherapist and life coach Delnna Rrajesh, reflecting on Bobby's words, noted that they articulate what countless people feel but seldom voice. "The fear of watching your parents age. The longing to freeze time. The grief of imagining a world without them," Delnna explained. She described the mix of emotions as a "unique cocktail of love, nostalgia, protectiveness and anticipatory grief." This phase involves a significant shift in perception, where parents are no longer seen as invincible pillars but as vulnerable individuals, a realization that strikes at the core of one's being.
Building an Emotional Legacy
Delnna emphasized that the true inheritance we seek to pass on is not material wealth or social status, but an emotional legacy. "It is values, kindness, emotional depth and the ability to make people feel seen. This is the emotional legacy every parent unknowingly leaves behind," she said. For Bobby Deol, this legacy is embodied in Dharmendra's innate kindness and respect for others.
Recognizing that many adults struggle to navigate this stage of life, Delnna offered practical advice for fostering meaningful connections with ageing parents while time permits:
- Spend intentional, device-free time with them. Even brief periods of undivided attention can create a strong sense of emotional safety.
- Record their stories and wisdom. Preserving their experiences ensures their legacy continues.
- Ask meaningful questions about their childhood, dreams, and regrets. This helps them feel valued and seen.
- Reassure them of their ongoing relevance and importance, countering the common fear of becoming a burden.
- Support their independence while providing gentle help, thus preserving their emotional dignity.
- Work towards resolving old wounds to bring peace and closure for everyone involved.
- Actively teach your children how to love and respect their grandparents, ensuring the emotional legacy is passed down intact.
Bobby Deol's emotional tribute transcends celebrity news, offering a mirror to the complex feelings surrounding ageing parents, familial love, and the desire to preserve a legacy of goodness. It is a reminder to cherish and consciously nurture our relationships with the older generation, honoring the "beautiful souls" in our own lives.
