In a candid revelation, Bollywood star Ranbir Kapoor has opened up about the emotional distance that developed between him and his elder sister, Riddhima Kapoor Sahni, over the years. The actor attributed this growing apart to a combination of physical separation, life stages, and his own detached temperament.
The Lost Years of Sibling Bonding
Reflecting on their childhood, Ranbir shared that he and Riddhima, who is two years older, shared a room until he was in the seventh grade. Their early years were marked by typical sibling rivalry, with the then-chubbier Riddhima beating him up, a dynamic that reversed once he grew in size. However, their close proximity ended when Riddhima left for further education in London.
"By the time she came back, I went to New York. By the time I finished and came back, she got married," Ranbir explained in an interview with Zerodha founder Nikhil Kamath. He expressed a poignant regret, stating, "I missed out on the good years of bonding with her." This sequence of life events created a chasm, preventing them from reconnecting during crucial formative periods.
A Relationship Defined by Distance and Temperament
Today, Riddhima is happily married to Bharat Sahni in Delhi and is a mother to a 13-year-old daughter named Samara. Ranbir expressed his love for his sister and brother-in-law, calling Bharat a "great, super guy," and affirmed that Riddhima is in a good space. Despite this, he admitted that they are not as close as he would like.
The actor pointed to his own nature as a significant factor. "It goes back to being that indifferent, detached person," he confessed, highlighting how his inherent attachment style made fostering closeness challenging even with someone he cares about deeply.
Parenthood: A Catalyst for Emotional Rebirth
The birth of his daughter, Raha, with wife Alia Bhatt, has profoundly impacted Ranbir's perspective on relationships and his own emotional patterns. He described fatherhood as a transformative experience that has made him question his lifelong tendency towards detachment and indifference.
"Now that I have a daughter, it's making me question that detachment and indifference. I feel like I've just been reborn. The 40 years I'd lived before her was another life," he shared. This seismic shift suggests a potential for renewed self-awareness and possibly a reevaluation of all his familial bonds, including the one with his sister.
Expert Insight: Why Siblings Drift Apart
Gurleen Baruah, an existential psychotherapist, explains that sibling closeness is influenced by a complex web of factors. Family systems, parental rituals, and household culture all play foundational roles. Physical distance is a major disruptor, as calls and video chats often fail to capture the everyday nuances of a person's life.
Diverging life stages—such as one sibling studying abroad while another starts a family—can create significant gaps. Personality differences add another layer; an expressive sibling seeking connection may struggle to find a rhythm with one who is more private or avoidant.
The Role of Attachment Styles
Baruah confirms that attachment styles formed in early childhood significantly influence adult sibling dynamics. These are not conscious choices but learned ways of protecting oneself. Someone who coped by pulling away as a child may unconsciously repeat that pattern with siblings, friends, or partners in adulthood.
While attachment is not destiny, it can be reshaped through self-awareness and therapeutic intervention, offering hope for those wishing to bridge emotional distances.
Parenthood as a Turning Point
Becoming a parent often serves as a powerful emotional catalyst. Holding one's own child frequently prompts a re-examination of one's childhood and relationships. This reflection can soften perspectives toward siblings and parents, fostering recognition of them as flawed individuals who were also navigating life's challenges.
At its best, Baruah concludes, parenthood heightens self-awareness and brings a sense of responsibility that can positively ripple across all relationships, extending far beyond the immediate bond with the child. For Ranbir Kapoor, this new chapter of fatherhood may well be the key to understanding his past detachment and forging deeper connections in the future.
