Legendary music composer AR Rahman has made a startling revelation about the personal cost of his massive fame, disclosing how the constant lack of privacy significantly impacted his family life and contributed to the end of his 29-year marriage.
The Heavy Price of Stardom
In a candid conversation with Nikhil Kamath, the Oscar-winning composer shared that his tremendous popularity came at the expense of his personal life. AR Rahman and his wife Saira Banu officially separated in 2024 after nearly three decades of marriage, with the composer acknowledging that fame played a crucial role in their relationship's deterioration.
The musical maestro, who shares three children with Saira Banu, explained that the complete absence of private moments became particularly damaging. "That's what actually took a toll on my family life, when no one allows you to eat," Rahman expressed with visible emotion, highlighting how even simple family activities like dining out became impossible.
Constant Fan Interactions and Lost Moments
Rahman described the relentless nature of fan encounters that leave no room for personal space. "Even in a marriage, when you go there, when you are eating, people say, 'Can I take a photograph?' I say, 'I am eating.' They say, 'But we are going to go. We have to go'," he recounted, illustrating the persistent demands he faces during what should be private moments.
The composer noted that this has forced him to adapt his behavior significantly. "I never eat in marriages. I just go over, wish them," he revealed, emphasizing how he now avoids eating at social events entirely to prevent these interruptions.
Cultural Differences in Celebrity Treatment
Drawing comparisons with Hollywood celebrities, Rahman observed distinct cultural approaches to handling fan interactions. "Whenever I have worked with rockstars abroad, they, just with a straight face, say, 'I don't do that, sorry'," he noted, adding that Western celebrities are more direct in setting boundaries.
He attributed the difference to cultural norms, stating "Indian actors are more kind because we are a different race," suggesting that Indian celebrities feel greater obligation to accommodate fan requests despite the personal cost.
Impact on Relationships and Social Life
The lack of privacy has extended beyond his marriage to affect other relationships as well. Rahman confessed that maintaining friendships has become challenging due to his schedule and circumstances. "All the directors are my friends," he said when asked about his social circle, indicating that work relationships have largely replaced traditional friendships.
Even family time requires careful planning and coordination. "Even to spend time with family, I have to make sure that I pull them on to dinner or something where also not everyone is free, they all have their own lives now," he shared, highlighting the practical difficulties of connecting with loved ones.
Despite the challenges, Rahman maintains a philosophical perspective about fan interactions. He acknowledged that dealing with admirers is "part of the game" and that he's usually "prepared" for photo requests when he ventures out, which he does "very rarely." The only exception he makes is when he's just completed a long flight and needs personal space.
The composer's revelations provide a sobering look at the human cost of extraordinary success, showing how the very admiration that defines celebrity status can simultaneously undermine the personal relationships that matter most.
