Kishwer Merchant and Suyyash Rai are one of the most beloved television couples in the industry. The duo tied the knot in 2016 after years of dating and welcomed their first child, a son named Nirvair, in 2021. Recently, Kishwer appeared on Shardul Pandit's podcast, where she candidly discussed her love story, interfaith marriage, the eight-year age difference, and the online trolling their son faced for wearing a skull cap.
On Success and Insecurity in Relationships
Kishwer revealed that she and Suyyash never faced issues related to success or fame. She stated, 'Some people may feel insecure if the woman is more successful, richer, or more famous, but that never happened with us. Suyyash never felt that way, even though I’m older and have been in the industry much longer than him. It was never about who was more famous or who got more attention. In fact, he was already quite popular because of Splitsvilla. Girls were crazy about him. When I first started dating him, I didn’t even know he had been on Splitsvilla. The first time we went out together, some girls became very excited after seeing him. Later, I found out about Splitsvilla and jokingly told him that if I had known earlier, I would never have dated him.'
Postpartum Depression and Support
After giving birth to Nirvair, Kishwer experienced a difficult phase. She shared, 'After my delivery and after Nirvair was born, there was a phase when I felt I was slipping into depression because I was unable to work. Everything was new for me, and my body was going through many changes. I have always been a skinny girl, so gaining so much weight felt very strange to me. I used to keep thinking, ‘What is happening to me?’ But throughout that phase, Suyyash was always by my side. Even when I looked very different, he kept telling me that I looked beautiful. That really gave me confidence and made me feel better. Instead, he encouraged me to enjoy motherhood, eat well, have fun, spend time with my child, and not stress too much about returning to work immediately.'
Interfaith Marriage and Family Acceptance
Kishwer, who is Muslim, spoke about her upbringing and the Hindu-Muslim divide in India. She said, 'The Hindu-Muslim issue has always existed in India. Sometimes things calm down, and then tensions rise again. I have even seen riots when I was very young, so I have grown up around all of this. Personally, I really dislike this divide. Even though I am Muslim, I visit gurudwaras, churches, temples, and mosques. I celebrate Holi, Diwali, Eid, and every festival with the same happiness and excitement. That’s the kind of person I am.'
Regarding her son's name, she explained, 'When I was pregnant, we had already decided two names for our baby. If it was a girl, we had chosen the name Alize, and if it was a boy, we had chosen the name Nirvair. It was simply destiny which name we would finally use. But some people still question me for giving my son a Hindu name despite being Muslim. I find that strange because everyone should be allowed to live their own life. At the end of the day, I am the one answerable for my choices, so why should others be so concerned about it?'
Kishwer also shared her father's reaction to her marriage. 'Initially, I felt things might become difficult because my father is very religious and offers namaz five times a day, while my mother is much more relaxed and open-minded like me. Our family is quite a contrast in that way. But my father accepted Suyyash Rai wholeheartedly. Even during our wedding, we didn’t choose either a Hindu or Muslim ceremony. We decided to have a simple registrar marriage because we didn’t want anyone from either side to feel hurt. We just had a reception after that and kept things simple.'
Son's Bond with Both Cultures
After Nirvair was born, the family dynamics became even more harmonious. Kishwer noted, 'Our son Nirvair loves listening to stories about Hanuman ji and Shiv ji and even talks about them with my father. My dad may not personally visit temples, but he has never stopped me from celebrating any festival. In fact, during Ganpati celebrations at Nirvair’s friend’s house, my father quietly got ready in a kurta and joined us. As a family, we have always celebrated Diwali, Holi, Eid, and every festival together. But after Nirvair, it has become even more special to see both families coming together with so much love and warmth.'
Trolling Over Skull Cap
Kishwer addressed the trolling their son faced for wearing a skull cap. She said, 'There was a time when Nirvair wore a cap, and a lot of people started commenting that we were teaching him religious practices. But for us, humanity comes first. He is the child of both Suyyash and me, so why can’t he learn and respect different cultures and traditions? At home, I pray in my own way, and in Suyyash’s studio there are idols of Shiv ji and Ganpati as well. Neither of us stops the other from following our beliefs. So I really don’t understand why outsiders get so bothered about how we are raising our child. At the end of the day, he is our son, and we will raise him the way we feel is right.'
Age Gap and Initial Hesitations
Kishwer recalled her shock upon learning Suyyash's age. 'In the beginning, I was very shocked when I found out how young Suyyash Rai really was. At first, I thought he was lying about his age. We met in January, and when his birthday came in March and I saw ‘22’ written on his cake, I realized he was actually that young. I was around 28 at the time, and I felt our relationship would never work because of the age gap. We even broke up for a few days because I thought it was impossible. But after three days, we got back together and decided to make it work.'
Suyyash's mother also had concerns initially. Kishwer shared, 'Obviously, Suyyash’s mother initially had some concerns because I was older than him and also belonged to a different religion. Any mother would naturally worry. But Suyyash was always very clear about his feelings. He told everyone that he wanted to marry me and spend his life with me. I feel the guy also needs to take responsibility and stand strong for the relationship. He handled everything so well that I never really had to stress about it.'
