In a candid conversation about modern parenting, veteran actress Sharmila Tagore has revealed that some of her most valuable lessons came from an unexpected source – her son, actor Saif Ali Khan. The revelation came during a recent appearance on her daughter Soha Ali Khan's YouTube channel, where Sharmila, Soha, and Sara Ali Khan delved into family dynamics and raising children.
Learning from the new generation
Sharmila Tagore, who raised three children – Saif, Soha, and Saba – in a different era, observed a significant shift in parenting styles. She noted that while she relied on the wisdom of older family members, the current generation, including her son Saif, often turns to books and peers for guidance. This modern approach, she admits, has been enlightening to witness.
"Saif has been an excellent parent. I have seen him with you (Sara)," Sharmila shared, addressing her granddaughter. She recalled a specific instance from Sara's childhood where Saif and his then-wife Amrita Singh would take a young Sara to late-night movie premieres. Contrary to traditional concerns, Sharmila saw that this did not negatively impact Sara, who would responsibly complete her homework upon returning home.
The Christmas tree lesson in Pataudi
One of the most poignant lessons came during a family Christmas in Pataudi. Sharmila, striving for perfection while decorating the tree, was gently corrected by Saif. "With Ibrahim, I remember... they were doing the Christmas tree and I was trying to be perfect," she recounted. "Ibrahim was putting it all over the place. So Saif said, 'Do you mind? It has to be participative'."
This moment was an epiphany for the veteran actress. She learned that fostering participation and joy was far more important than achieving a flawless outcome. "I also learnt that you don't have to be perfect but allow the children to grow at their own pace," she reflected, praising Saif for being "really really wonderful" in his parenting role.
Being 'very real' in challenging times
Sharmila also highlighted Saif's composure and authenticity during a frightening incident. When an intruder broke into their home late one night, leading to a scuffle where Saif was severely injured, he remained "very real" with his young children, Taimur and Jeh. His ability to handle crisis with honesty, rather than panic, left a strong impression on his mother.
The conversation also turned to Sara Ali Khan's perspective on her upbringing. Having grown up in a non-traditional household after her parents' divorce when she was nine, Sara largely lived with her mother, Amrita Singh. She humorously addressed the common parental refrain, "You are like your father" or "You are like your mother," by pointing out the simple logic of genetics.
Sara on her 'unfiltered' nature
When asked about what she inherited from her parents, Sara stated she shares her father's "eclectic likes." From her mother Amrita Singh, she credits her "unfiltered" and real personality. "Staying real in a world where it's difficult to be that way," Sara explained. "People are like, 'Oh you are so bindaas, you are so unfiltered. How are you that way?' And I think that's because of mom."
She elaborated that Amrita Singh is not a rude person, but someone who doesn't meticulously watch her "Ps and Qs," a trait Sara has proudly embraced. "In a world where people go out of their way to manicure you, I think we are manicured only on our hands," she laughed.
The multi-generational dialogue offered a rare glimpse into the evolving philosophies of one of Bollywood's most prominent families. It underscores a universal theme: that parenting wisdom can flow in both directions, from old to young and, as Sharmila Tagore gracefully acknowledged, from child to parent.
