In a bold literary move, celebrated artist Piyush Mishra has turned the lens of scrutiny upon himself. His new work, 'Tumhari Auqaat Kya Hai, Piyush Mishra', is not a conventional autobiography but a novelised memoir that actively dismantles the mythology built around him over decades. Published by HarperCollins India, the book replaces public reverence with a personal reckoning, pushing readers to confront their own sense of worth.
A Life Fragmented into Fiction
Defying the expectations of celebrity life writing, Mishra has chosen fiction as his vehicle for truth. The memoir is not a linear narrative but unfolds like a long, theatrical monologue, circling memories, contradictions, and regrets. "Thoda tedha novel hai, par ekdum seedha bhi hai," Mishra describes it – a crooked novel that is also very straight.
To achieve the necessary distance for honesty, Mishra fragments himself into alter egos like Santap Trivedi, Haider, and Hamlet. These characters act as shards of his restless self, allowing him to explore his past without the self-absorption of a first-person account. He openly addresses struggles with alcoholism, failure, and the vast gap between his younger self and the revered figure he is today. "If they knew what I was like in the ’80s or ’90s, my image would be ruined," he admits.
Three Cities That Forged an Artist
The memoir is architecturally shaped by three Indian cities, each acting as a demanding teacher rather than a passive backdrop.
Gwalior represents latent inheritance. Growing up in the birthplace of Tansen, Mishra absorbed Hindustani classical music and a sense of artistic capability, yet it remained fragmented and without direction. "In Gwalior, I first learnt that I am capable of doing this," he says, "But I didn’t know what to do with it."
Delhi was the stern instructor. For nearly two decades of scarcity, surviving on theatre and conviction, the city taught him discipline and how to assemble his scattered talents. "Delhi strictly taught me how to gather everything," he recalls. It was here his confusion gave way to a serious, uncompromising dedication to art, even when it offered no financial return.
Mumbai brought liberation through compromise. It was the city that finally paid him, providing "mental peace" and the stability to work. While fame and rapid change followed, Mumbai gave him a band, poetry collections, and a career in cinema. It stabilized the conditions for his art to survive, even as it demanded acceptance of a transformed reality.
The Unsettling Core Question: What Is Your Worth?
The book's title, 'Tumhari Auqaat Kya Hai?' (What is your worth?), forms its ethical centre. For Mishra, 'auqaat' is not about social hierarchy but a profound, nightly moral accounting. "At night, when we sleep, we are naked before our own decisions," he states.
He frames the question as a necessary introspection for everyone, born from reflecting on one's deeds. The process, he explains, has involved apologizing for his own wrongs and forgiving those who hurt him. "Both things are beneficial. One taught me to ask for forgiveness, and the other taught me to forgive," Mishra reflects.
Ultimately, the memoir offers no grand conclusions. Instead, Mishra "laid everything bare," leaving judgment to the reader. The positive public response to this unvarnished truth has surprised him, suggesting that "people can drink the truth." In an age of curated personas, Piyush Mishra's book is a quietly defiant act. He does not seek admiration but urges a genuine reading and, most importantly, prompts the unsettling, transferable question: Tumhari auqaat kya hai?
