In today's fast-paced and high-pressure world, many parents struggle to find the right balance between guiding their children and forming a genuine bond with them. Esteemed spiritual guide Sister BK Shivani from the Brahma Kumaris offers a transformative perspective, highlighting the importance of emotional awareness over authoritarian control in raising children.
From Authority to Understanding: The Core of Conscious Parenting
Sister Shivani clearly states that children should not be treated as machines to be controlled but as individuals to be nurtured. She warns that an excessive focus on discipline and obedience often backfires, leading to either rebellious behaviour or emotional withdrawal in children. The key, she suggests, is to move from 'control' to 'guidance'.
This shift involves prioritising the question 'why?' over 'what?'. Instead of merely correcting a child's action, parents are encouraged to understand the reason behind it. This fundamental change in approach, focusing on comprehension rather than correction, forms the essence of what Sister Shivani calls conscious parenting.
The Silent Language: How Emotional Energy Shapes Your Child
A central tenet of Sister Shivani's teaching is that children absorb their parents' emotional energy far more deeply than their verbal instructions. Stress, frustration, and negativity from a parent can directly impact a child's emotional core.
To counter this, she offers a simple yet powerful practice: parents should cultivate a sense of inner peace before interacting with their children. By approaching their kids from a calm and centred space, parents create a safe emotional environment where children feel secure and cared for.
Decoding Behaviour with Empathy, Not Labels
Sister Shivani emphasises that a child's behaviour is often a window into their inner world. Quickly labelling a child as 'lazy', 'stubborn', or 'naughty' can limit their potential and reinforce negative patterns.
She advises parents to pause and observe what might be driving the behaviour—whether it's fear, insecurity, or an unmet emotional need. Responding with empathy rather than immediate punishment strengthens the parent-child connection and teaches children healthy emotional management. This process builds emotional intelligence for both the parent and the child.
Building Confidence Through Positive Communication
Moving away from warnings and threats, Sister Shivani advocates for the use of positive affirmations and calm communication. Regularly acknowledging a child's qualities and efforts can positively reshape their self-perception and behaviour without creating internal conflict.
Phrases like 'I see your efforts', 'You are capable', and 'Let's work it out together' are powerful tools. They build a child's confidence and motivate them to grow and improve on their own terms.
Ultimately, Sister BK Shivani's philosophy champions connection over control. By providing a nurturing atmosphere grounded in understanding and emotional stability, parents can raise children who are not just obedient but are open, resilient, and emotionally secure individuals. This approach fosters an unbreakable bond, equipping children to navigate the complexities of the modern world with confidence.
