In an education system obsessed with percentages, ranks, and report cards, the true essence of a student's journey is often lost. Today's youth navigate a high-pressure environment where their value is constantly measured against board exam scores, college admissions, and even social media validation. This relentless comparison has stripped the joy from learning, turning it into a stressful race.
Dr. Sachu Ramalingam, Head of Centre of Well-Being at Lighthouse Learning, argues that this narrow focus is damaging. She emphasizes that real success is not a number on a mark sheet but is defined by the person a student becomes. In an insightful discussion, she sheds light on why so many young individuals feel they are not enough and what fundamental changes are necessary to address this growing crisis.
What Constitutes True Student Success?
According to Dr. Ramalingam, authentic student success extends far beyond academic trophies and certificates. True success is about developing curiosity, confidence, and compassion. A genuinely successful student is one who has learned how to think critically, not just what to think. They are adaptable, collaborative, and capable of making meaningful contributions to their community.
The expert proposes that success should be measured by metrics of self-growth and emotional maturity. The primary indicator should be a student's ability to find genuine joy and engagement in the process of learning itself, rather than solely in the outcome.
Navigating the Storm of Comparison and Pressure
When asked about the pervasive culture of comparison, Dr. Ramalingam offers clear advice. She states that comparison is the quickest way to lose sight of your own unique path. Every student has a distinct pace, background, and set of strengths.
Instead of looking sideways at peers, students should look inward. Dr. Ramalingam advises them to compare who they are today with who they were yesterday. Success should be defined as personal progress, not an unattainable perfection. She encourages students to ask themselves key questions: Am I learning? Am I growing? Am I becoming a kinder person? Finding affirmative answers to these is the success worth pursuing.
The Mental Health Crisis Among Youth
Dr. Ramalingam identifies the most significant mental health challenges facing young people today as anxiety, self-doubt, a lack of resilience, and a constant need for external validation. These issues are frequently amplified by social media and overwhelming academic expectations.
Many young individuals struggle under the weight of feeling they must be perfect in every endeavor, leading to burnout and profound loneliness. Conversely, a sense of entitlement, where everything is expected to be provided, is also problematic. The solution, she insists, lies in fostering open conversations about emotions, placing greater emphasis on rest and hobbies, and creating judgment-free safe spaces for expression. She also calls for parenting styles that focus on instilling strong values and inner principles.
Reframing Failure as a Learning Tool
How can we help children and teens develop a healthy relationship with failure? Dr. Ramalingam is clear: Failure should be treated as feedback, not a final verdict. Adults, including parents and teachers, have a critical role to play in this shift.
When a child faces failure, the question should change from Why didnt you do better? to What did you learn from this experience? This simple change in language helps young minds view setbacks as an integral part of the learning journey, not as a reflection of their inherent worth. Encouraging calculated risks, celebrating effort over outcome, and adults modeling resilience themselves can make a transformative difference.
Building Emotional Resilience Daily
Dr. Ramalingam recommends practical, everyday habits that students can adopt to build mental strength over time.
- Maintain a gratitude journal, noting three things you are thankful for each day.
- Spend 20 to 30 minutes outdoors, disconnected from screens.
- Practice mindfulness or deep breathing exercises before stressful situations.
- Talk openly about your feelings with a trusted person.
- Celebrate small victories, like completing homework on time.
- Engage in community service or acts that uplift others.
These consistent practices cultivate emotional balance and fortitude.
A Message for Every Student Feeling Not Enough
Dr. Ramalingam's direct message to any student feeling inadequate is powerful. You are enough not because of what you achieve, but because of who you are. She reminds students that everyones life path unfolds differently. A peer who seems ahead today might be learning lessons you have already mastered in another form.
She urges students to stop measuring their self-worth with someone else's yardstick. Your journey is valid, valuable, and uniquely yours. The focus should remain on your own growth and development.
One Lifelong Piece of Wisdom
Finally, Dr. Ramalingam shares the one piece of wisdom she wants every student to carry through life. Your marks will fade from memory, but your mindset will shape your destiny. She encourages students to stay endlessly curious, practice kindness, and commit to never stopping their personal growth.
Life is not a race against others; it is a personal journey of self-discovery. The more you understand and learn about yourself, the more successful you will truly become.
