Sixteen years ago, I visited Vrindavan as a tourist, not a devotee. My faith was a casual backdrop of my upbringing, and the trip was planned as a cheerful family outing. We explored the town's famous sites with the curiosity of sightseers, more engaged in shopping and conversation than in prayer or pilgrimage.
The Heart of Devotion: Entering Banke Bihari Temple
By evening, we reached the Banke Bihari Temple, widely regarded as the epicenter of devotion in Vrindavan. The evening light cast a pinkish glow on its red sandstone facade, highlighting the beautiful Rajasthani architectural style. The temple, adorned with elaborate stone carvings and vibrant paintings depicting Krishna's leelas from the Bhagavata Purana, has a rich history. It is believed to have been constructed in the 19th century by the Goswamis, descendants of the saint Swami Haridas.
The central idol holds a unique significance. Legend states that Krishna appeared before saint Haridas in the form of this idol, which represents both Radha and Krishna merged into one unique 'tribhanga' form with three graceful bends. This idol is said to have been discovered near Nidhivan in the 16th century and was enshrined in the present temple built in 1862.
A Moment of Unbidden Transformation
As we entered, we walked across a large courtyard with black and white marble tiles. At the end stood a silver door, and behind it, the dark idol with deep, captivating eyes. In that moment, I felt He was looking directly at me. Then, the curtain closed. When it opened again, something inexplicable happened.
My usually pragmatic and cool-headed mind went completely blank. I was speechless, unable to summon my usual list of wishes or prayers. Unbidden and unstoppable tears streamed down my face. For ten to twelve minutes, I was overwhelmed by a profound wave of love—vast, tender, and entirely beyond my understanding. This emotional eruption was utterly unlike my normal self in my 20s.
The silence that followed was collective. Stepping out of the sanctum, none of us could speak. My cousins, neither of whom are religious, confessed to feeling strangely light-headed, deeply emotional, and hushed, as if touched by the same ineffable force.
The Mystery of the Curtain: Tales of Divine Protection
The practice of periodically closing the curtain before the sanctum sanctorum is shrouded in fascinating lore. One popular belief is that Bihari ji's divine gaze possesses such enchanting potency that prolonged exposure could cause devotees to faint; the curtain offers merciful glimpses, protecting the heart from total surrender.
Another poignant tale suggests the Lord is so tender-hearted that overwhelming emotion from a devotee could enchant Him, risking that He might follow the devotee home. A third story holds that the pujaris shield Thakur ji's playful, childlike essence from the 'nazar' or evil eye, preserving His eternal, mesmerizing charm from undue worldly attention. In the wake of my experience, my heart found resonance in the poetic truth of these tales.
Since that transformative day, I have returned to Banke Bihari ji repeatedly, braving ever-growing crowds. Each visit softens my heart and dissolves my thoughts. Standing before Him with folded hands, I am left in silent gratitude. The joy of that single sight—the moment the curtain parts—fills me with an immense love that quietens every worry. In that divine gaze, everything feels complete.
