R. Madhavan Reflects on Self-Doubt and Career Journey Amid Success
R. Madhavan is currently basking in the acclaim for his performance in 'Dhurandhar: The Revenge', yet the seasoned actor remains introspective about his nearly three-decade-long career. In a candid virtual interaction, Madhavan delved into his persistent self-doubt, strategic career decisions, and the pivotal moment when director Mani Ratnam instilled genuine belief in his abilities.
Madhavan on Early Self-Doubt and Hunger to Achieve
Madhavan admitted that even today, he grapples with feelings of inadequacy regarding his craft. "I feel very inadequate right now. I don’t think I will ever reach that stage ever," he confessed. He finds fleeting validation when respected figures like big stars or politicians genuinely appreciate his work, or when he connects with audiences across generations. However, he firmly believes his best work is still ahead. "I still strongly feel that my best is yet to come. I don’t know if it is a safety mechanism or that is a fact," he added.
The actor also revealed that financial instability has fueled his drive. "The fact that I have also financially never been super settled at any given point of time, the hunger to create a star life has always kept me wanting more," he explained. Madhavan expressed discomfort with traditional stardom, noting his aversion to designer clothes and constant entourages. "I have realised that I can never live like a star, I am a terrible star," he said, emphasizing that his humble demeanor helps him avoid excessive public attention.
'Alaipayuthey' Phase and Age Concerns
Madhavan recalled feeling self-conscious about playing a romantic lead at age 30 in the film 'Alaipayuthey'. Its success tempted him to stick to similar roles for stability, but he quickly realized the limitations. "I realized that maybe I won’t be this young teenager looking for a long time," he stated. This led him to take a bold leap into 'Kannathil Muthamittal', where he portrayed a father of three children—a move many advised against at the time.
Choosing Unconventional Roles Over Comfort
Instead of playing it safe, Madhavan consciously pursued diverse and unconventional roles. "I was very conscious that I had to find a niche for myself where I am not competing in areas that are not strong for me," he explained. This strategy involved selecting roles outside mainstream cinema that had high return potential, which became an addictive pursuit. "I started picking up roles that people normally would not associate with commercial heroes. I started playing to my strength," he said, crediting this approach for his current standing in the industry.
Mani Ratnam's Reassurance Changed Everything
Working with legendary director Mani Ratnam provided Madhavan with crucial validation. Having never trained as an actor, Madhavan initially doubted his path. "Till I started Alaipayuthey and I remember my first take was okay for Mani Ratnam, but it was when he offered me Kannathil Muthamittal that was a reassuring factor," he shared. This gesture made him feel recognized as a capable actor.
Madhavan even considered quitting acting after his debut, telling Ratnam, "I don’t think I will be acting because it was like 'where do you go, what do you do, especially when you don’t have a background in the industry'." However, positive feedback and reviews gradually convinced him that acting could be a lifelong profession.
Currently, Madhavan is receiving heavy praise for his stunning performance as Ajay Sanyal in 'Dhurandhar: The Revenge', showcasing his enduring commitment to challenging and varied roles in the entertainment landscape.
