Kajol's Son Yug Delivers a Powerful Parenting Lesson on Honesty
In a heartfelt revelation, Bollywood actor Kajol recounted a poignant moment when her 9-year-old son, Yug Devgn, imparted a crucial lesson that reshaped her approach to parenting. Speaking on Kareena Kapoor's show What Women Want, Kajol shared an incident that occurred during a Mata Ki Chowki, a Hindu Goddess prayer session at their home.
The Incident That Sparked Reflection
Kajol described how she insisted that her daughter, Nysa, join the family during the prayer. "I was firing Nysa for not sitting with us. There was a Mata Ki Chowki at home, and I was like, 'Nysa, come and sit with us. We are sitting here, why are you sitting at the table?' She said, 'Mumma, I really don’t want to.' I really got angry and I said, 'Come here and sit down!'" After Nysa reluctantly complied, Yug intervened with surprising maturity.
He quietly sat in Kajol's lap and advised, "You know, mom, you shouldn’t fire her for telling the truth." Reflecting on this, Kajol admitted, "I felt like, oh my God, that was such a... ulte haath ka thappad apne bachche ne maar diya mujhe. It was amazing advice." This phrase, meaning "my child gave me a backhanded slap," highlights how children can sometimes be the best teachers.
Understanding Defiance vs. Honest Self-Expression
Parenting is often viewed as a one-way street, with adults guiding the young. However, moments like these remind us that children can offer profound wisdom. Psychologist Rasshi Gurnani explains that distinguishing between defiance and genuine self-expression is vital. "Children are often mislabelled as being difficult or disrespectful when they’re trying to communicate their needs or discomforts," she notes.
For instance, a child opting out of family gatherings might be responding to overstimulation, exhaustion, or a need for personal space. Instead of assuming disobedience, parents should pause and consider their child's feelings. Creating a habit of asking, not accusing, builds a healthier emotional connection and helps decode the real reason behind a behavior.
Steps to Repair Trust and Validate Honesty
Gurnani emphasises that parental regret can be a growth opportunity. "When a parent reacts harshly, it’s crucial to circle back and repair," she says. This involves acknowledging mistakes, apologising sincerely, and affirming the child's right to express themselves. Validating a child's honesty, even when uncomfortable, sends a powerful message that their voice matters.
Rebuilding trust doesn't require grand gestures; it often starts with a simple conversation where the parent listens without defensiveness and shows emotional vulnerability. This not only heals the moment but strengthens the long-term bond between parent and child.
The Importance of an Emotionally Safe Home Environment
Creating a home where children feel safe to express true feelings is essential for their mental well-being. Gurnani believes that discipline and emotional openness can coexist. "Boundaries are important, but they shouldn’t come at the cost of a child’s emotional freedom," she asserts. Encouraging kids to share thoughts without fear of judgement fosters resilience, honesty, and empathy.
When children feel heard, they are more likely to cooperate and less likely to rebel. Emotional safety doesn't mean an absence of rules; it means enforcing them with respect, understanding, and flexibility. This approach nurtures a supportive family dynamic where everyone's feelings are valued.
Kajol's experience serves as a reminder that parenting is a two-way learning journey. By embracing lessons from our children, we can foster deeper connections and create a more empathetic home environment.
