In a candid moment that resonated with many fathers, Bollywood star Sanjay Dutt once humorously revealed the depth of his protective instincts towards his daughters. The actor's lighthearted comment, which hinted at a return to jail if his daughter fell in love, underscores a common paternal sentiment backed by psychological research.
The Bollywood Star's Protective Instinct
The revelation came during a 2018 episode of the talk show Entertainment Ki Raat, Season 2. Host Saumya Tandon, who later worked with Dutt in the film Dhurandhar, asked the actor about his stance on his son dating. Sanjay Dutt smiled and gave his approval, stating, "Haan, wo theek hai" ("That's absolutely fine").
However, his response shifted dramatically when the topic turned to his daughter. The Munna Bhai M.B.B.S. actor added, "Magar agar meri beti bol rahi hai ki pyar ho gaya hai, to wo bhi theek hai, par kaun hai bhai… Shayad mujhe paanch saal wapis jail jana pade" ("If my daughter says she's in love, that's also fine — but who is he? I might have to go back to jail for five years").
While shared in jest, this confession highlights a widespread paternal behavior. This instinct is not merely a social stereotype but is supported by scientific study. A 2025 study published in Adaptive Human Behavior and Physiology confirms that fathers often exhibit heightened protectiveness towards daughters, a trait found to be more profound among fathers with higher levels of education and income.
The Psychology Behind Paternal Protectiveness
According to psychologist Arpita Kohli, this behavior stems from deep emotional roots. "Fathers usually become extra protective of their daughters out of deep care and emotional attachment," she explains. This instinct is primarily driven by a genuine desire to shield them from potential harm or disappointment.
However, Kohli cautions that the motivation can sometimes be more complex. "In some cases, this protectiveness may also stem from a fear of losing control — a belief that their daughter's safety and decisions must remain under their supervision." These feelings are frequently shaped by societal norms, personal past experiences, or anxieties about the challenges young women face in today's world. Essentially, it is a mixture of love, care, and occasionally, an unconscious need to maintain control.
Impact of Overprotectiveness on Daughters
While protection is natural, the line between guiding and controlling is crucial. Kohli points out that if a father frequently says 'no' without discussion or feels undue anxiety when his daughter makes independent choices, it may indicate controlling behavior. "Protecting means guiding with care and trust, while controlling involves imposing decisions without considering her opinions," she clarifies.
Excessive protectiveness can have long-term consequences on a daughter's development. "When fathers restrict their daughters' independence too much, they may start doubting their own judgment or ability to make decisions," Kohli tells indianexpress.com. Over time, this can erode self-esteem and foster a persistent fear of failure.
This dynamic can also spill over into future relationships. "In relationships, such daughters may struggle with trust or become dependent on others for validation," the psychologist further warns.
Fostering Healthy Father-Daughter Bonds
The key to avoiding these pitfalls lies in self-reflection and adopting a modern approach to fatherhood. "Healthy protectiveness today means empowering daughters rather than restricting them," advises Kohli. Contemporary parenting is about providing guidance rooted in confidence and love, not fear, thereby allowing daughters to mature into independent and self-assured women.
Psychologists recommend that fathers focus on offering emotional support, listening without immediate judgment, and encouraging problem-solving skills instead of making every decision. It is equally important to establish boundaries based on mutual respect and to openly explain the reasons behind any concerns.
Kohli concludes that a father can distinguish between healthy and overbearing protectiveness by examining his intentions and reactions. "Open communication and trust are key signs of healthy protectiveness." By fostering an environment of support and respect, fathers can fulfill their protective role while positively contributing to their daughters' emotional and personal growth.
