I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki: Baek Sehee's Powerful Memoir on Dysthymia & Mental Health
Dysthymia Explained: Baek Sehee's Mental Health Memoir

In a world where mental health conversations are finally gaining momentum, South Korean author Baek Sehee's memoir "I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki" has emerged as a powerful voice, particularly resonating with Indian readers grappling with similar emotional struggles.

The Dysthymia Disorder Explained

At the heart of Baek's compelling narrative lies dysthymia, also known as persistent depressive disorder. Unlike major depression that comes in intense waves, dysthymia represents a chronic, low-grade depression that persists for years, often becoming a person's "normal" state of being.

What makes dysthymia particularly challenging is its subtle nature. Many individuals suffering from this condition may function normally in their daily lives - going to work, maintaining relationships, and appearing perfectly fine to outsiders, while internally battling constant emotional exhaustion and hopelessness.

Baek's Journey Through Therapy Sessions

The memoir's unique structure presents transcripts of Baek's actual therapy sessions, offering readers an intimate look into the therapeutic process. This raw, unfiltered approach has struck a chord with Indian audiences, where mental health discussions have traditionally been taboo.

Through these conversations, Baek explores the complex duality expressed in her book's title - the simultaneous experience of wanting to end life while still finding pleasure in simple joys like eating tteokbokki, a popular Korean street food.

Why This Memoir Matters for Indian Readers

Mental health awareness in India has seen significant growth in recent years, yet many still struggle to articulate their emotional pain or seek professional help. Baek's memoir serves as both validation and education for those who may not recognize their own symptoms as depression.

The book's success highlights several important aspects of mental health:

  • Mental illness doesn't always look dramatic or obvious
  • High-functioning individuals can still suffer deeply
  • Therapy is a process, not a quick fix
  • Small pleasures can coexist with profound pain

Breaking Cultural Barriers

In both South Korean and Indian societies, where mental health has often been stigmatized, Baek's candid account represents a significant step toward normalization. Her willingness to share private therapy sessions demonstrates remarkable courage and helps demystify the treatment process for those considering seeking help.

Recognizing Dysthymia Symptoms

For those wondering if they or their loved ones might be experiencing dysthymia, common symptoms include:

  1. Persistent sad or "empty" mood lasting two years or more
  2. Loss of interest in daily activities
  3. Low energy and chronic fatigue
  4. Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism
  5. Difficulty concentrating and making decisions
  6. Changes in sleep patterns
  7. Low self-esteem and excessive self-criticism

The importance of Baek's work lies in its ability to give language to experiences that many have suffered through in silence. By sharing her journey, she's created a bridge for others to understand their own mental health struggles and, most importantly, to seek the help they deserve.

As mental health conversations continue to evolve in India, memoirs like Baek Sehee's play a crucial role in building empathy, reducing stigma, and encouraging more people to prioritize their psychological wellbeing alongside physical health.