Bollywood actor Vijay Varma has recently revealed his deeply personal battle with depression and anxiety, opening up about his complicated relationship with his father and the emotional guilt he carried for leaving his family to pursue an acting career.
The Complicated Father-Son Relationship
During an emotional conversation on Rhea Chakraborty's podcast Chapter 2, the Darlings actor shared how his admiration for his father evolved over time. "When I was a little boy, I was fascinated by my father," Vijay Varma recalled. "He had a very dynamic personality — flamboyant, short-tempered, unpredictable."
The actor described how their relationship changed dramatically during his teenage years. "My love for my father took a beating when I became a teenager. He loved me, but he wanted so many things from me that I didn't want — my career, my friends, even how I spent my time," he revealed. This growing tension pushed Varma closer to his mother, who became his primary emotional support.
The Difficult Decision to Leave Home
Varma's passion for theatre created further conflict with his father, who wanted him to join the family business. The actor recalled his father's dismissive attitude toward employment: "He would say 'Naukar naukri karte hain, hum business karte hain (Servants do jobs — we do business).'"
When Varma secured admission to the prestigious FTII, he was too afraid to tell his father directly. "I called him and lied that I got a scholarship and it's a one-year course," he shared. His father's response was harsh: "You better leave before I return." Varma packed his bags and left home, beginning what would become a decade-long struggle before his breakthrough role in Gully Boy.
Battling Depression During COVID-19
The actor's success in projects like Mirzapur and Dahaad didn't shield him from mental health challenges. During the COVID-19 lockdown, Varma found himself in a dark place emotionally. "I was all alone in an apartment in Mumbai. I had a small terrace — that sky saved me," he shared, describing how the pandemic pause made him realize his profound loneliness.
It was during this difficult period that Aamir Khan's daughter Ira Khan and fellow actor Gulshan Devaiah became his support system through Zoom. "I kept deteriorating. Ira was the first to say, 'Vijay, you need to start moving,'" Varma revealed. She organized Zoom workouts and essentially became his coach during this challenging time.
The actor was eventually diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety, with his therapist recommending medication. "I carried guilt about leaving home. I still do. I left my family and struggled alone for a decade with no achievement," he confessed, explaining how childhood hurts from his dysfunctional family continued to affect him subconsciously.
Varma emphasized the importance of addressing mental health issues, acknowledging that "if you don't sort things out, it leaves a lasting mark." The actor will next be seen in the upcoming film Gustaakh Ishq, continuing his journey in Bollywood with greater self-awareness and emotional resilience.
