For new parents, the sudden moment when their sweet baby starts hitting, biting, or throwing food can be both shocking and confusing. The immediate question that arises is whether it's even appropriate to discipline a child as young as one year old. According to Dr. Mona, a board-certified pediatrician and mother of two, the answer is a definitive yes. However, she clarifies that discipline at this age has nothing to do with punishment.
Discipline Starts Early, But It's Not What You Think
In a recent Instagram video that has resonated with many parents, Dr. Mona addressed this common dilemma head-on. She emphasizes that the foundation of discipline can be laid as early as nine to ten months old. This is typically when behaviors like playfully hitting a parent or deliberately dropping food from the highchair begin.
"Discipline starts as young as nine months old," Dr. Mona stated. "You know when your baby starts throwing food on the ground at 10 months or tries to playfully hit you? Even if it's playful, this is a boundary you're going to set." The key takeaway is that instilling discipline is about consistent guidance, not reprimand.
Setting Boundaries: The Core of Positive Discipline
Dr. Mona strongly distinguishes between discipline and punishment. For her, true discipline is about creating a safe and predictable environment through clear boundaries. "Discipline to me is consistent and safe boundaries and following through, so kids know what preferred behaviours are," she explained. The goal is to teach, not to penalize.
She offers practical strategies for parents of toddlers. The first step is to avoid giving big, dramatic reactions to unwanted behaviors, as this can sometimes reinforce them. Instead, parents should respond with calm firmness.
Her recommended approach involves three clear steps:
- Calmly state the boundary (e.g., "No, we don't throw food.").
- Immediately redirect to a positive alternative (e.g., "We can EAT food.").
- Model the desired behavior yourself, showing them what 'gentle touch' or 'eating food' looks like.
Crucially, Dr. Mona advises using positive reinforcement whenever the child demonstrates the preferred behavior. This focuses attention on the good actions, guiding them more effectively.
Why Time-Outs Are Not for One-Year-Olds
A common disciplinary tool, the time-out, is not suitable for children around the age of one, according to the pediatrician. She explains that a toddler lacks the cognitive ability to connect being placed in a corner with their earlier action. "Putting a 'toddler baby' in time out is unlikely to change their future behaviour, as they have no way to link their behaviour to why they have to stand in the corner," Dr. Mona said.
She notes that time-outs may be considered for older children over the age of two, and only if other methods have not worked. Some children in this older bracket might respond better to a brief time-out than to a "time-in" strategy, but it remains an approach for preschoolers, not infants.
Essential Tips for Parents of One-Year-Olds
Dr. Mona consolidates her advice into a clear action plan for parents navigating this challenging phase:
- Don't overreact to undesired behaviours. Stay calm.
- Clearly demonstrate the behaviour you want to see.
- Positively reinforce immediately when they do the desired behaviour. Remember: behaviour follows attention.
- If the undesired behaviour persists, calmly state the boundary and follow through. For example: "If you throw your food, I take it away." Then, calmly remove the food with a phrase like, "Okay. All done. We can try again next time."
The entire process requires immense patience and repetition. Young children learn through consistent reinforcement. Dr. Mona's final message is empowering: discipline is not a harsh concept reserved for older kids. With the right approach focused on safe boundaries and positive guidance, you can begin to instill these valuable life lessons from a very young age.
