Parenting stories that resonate with authenticity often capture widespread attention online. This is precisely the case with a Dutch mother residing in Mumbai, whose candid reflections on raising a child in India versus the Netherlands have gone viral. After nearly nine years in India, she offers a relatable and nuanced perspective, avoiding judgments and instead focusing on the trade-offs and adjustments involved in parenting across cultures.
Community Support: A Key Difference in Parenting
One of the most striking observations she made is the profound role of community in Mumbai. She described how, in India, parenting feels supported by a "village" of people, from family members to neighbors in apartment buildings. "In Mumbai, the ‘village’ is real. From family to the community in your building, someone is always watching, helping, or playing," she explained. In contrast, she noted that in the Netherlands, parenting can often feel more solitary, with parents handling most tasks independently.
Children in Public Spaces and Parenting Styles
She also highlighted how children are more integrated into public life in India. According to her, toddlers in the Netherlands might not always be welcome in certain places, whereas in India, children are accepted "almost everywhere," making daily outings simpler for parents. This inclusivity extends to parenting styles, where she pointed out a clear divergence: Dutch children are encouraged to be fiercely independent from a young age, such as cycling to school alone at eight years old. In India, however, children grow up with a stronger sense of interdependence, being part of a larger group or system.
Language Learning and Safety Perceptions
Another fascinating aspect she shared is the natural language acquisition her daughter experiences. Without any formal planning, her child is growing up trilingual, hearing Dutch, English, and Hindi daily. "My daughter is growing up trilingual without even trying. Hearing Dutch, English, and Hindi daily is a cognitive investment I didn't have to plan; it just happened," she wrote. Her daughter mixes languages like Hindi, Dutch, Punjabi, and Bangla in everyday speech, which the mother cherishes.
Safety perceptions also differ significantly between the two countries. In Amsterdam, children often move around independently, while in Mumbai, safety involves closer supervision and less independence outdoors. This contrast reflects broader cultural norms around child-rearing and risk assessment.
Education and Home Help: Adjusting to New Norms
The mother noted that academic pressure begins earlier in India, describing it as a "huge adjustment" compared to the Netherlands, where early childhood education emphasizes play over structured studies. Additionally, she appreciated the availability of help at home in India, which allows her to spend quality time with her daughter without feeling overwhelmed. "Because the common culture in India of having help at home, I can get help easily but still mostly be with my daughter without getting too much overstimulated," she said. In the Netherlands, children typically start daycare from a young age, which she sometimes worries might limit her daughter's interaction with peers.
Overcoming Initial Challenges and Personal Reflections
Initially, raising a child in a foreign country felt "very scary" to her, but over time, connecting with other parents helped her settle in. She ended with a heartfelt note about her journey, expressing how meaningful it is to see her daughter grow up surrounded by warmth and community, especially given her own background as a lonely refugee child in the Netherlands. "Especially after being a very lonely refugee child, growing up without family in the Netherlands, watching Moana grow up with so much warmth and community has my whole heart," she shared.
Disclaimer: This article is based on personal experiences shared by an individual on social media. Views expressed are their own. The authenticity of the claims has not been independently verified.
