We've all heard the warning from friends: never go back to your ex. But what if this common advice is actually wrong? Relationship experts are now suggesting that returning to a former partner might be exactly what some couples need for lasting happiness.
What Exactly Are Circular Relationships?
The term circular relationships describes the pattern of breaking up and getting back together with the same person. Also known as repeat relationships, this trend is gaining recognition as a potentially healthy approach to love when handled correctly.
According to psychotherapist Dr. Nicole Gehl, who spoke with The Independent, these relationships can succeed when both partners have done the necessary personal work. "When both people have reflected on their part and their responsibility in the breakup, if they've learned from it and developed more emotional or communication skills, then things can be different," Dr. Gehl explained.
Why People Return to Former Partners
The journey often follows a familiar pattern. Couples meet, fall in love, and enjoy the comfort of partnership. Over time, they discover each other's flaws and personality clashes emerge, leading to separation. But as anger subsides, nostalgia sets in.
People miss their ex's presence, smile, and the comfort they provided. This emotional longing often triggers "missing you" texts and apologies. For many, working things out with someone familiar feels easier than starting over with a new person.
Circular relationships prove particularly common among couples who ended their relationship on positive terms and maintained some connection during their time apart.
Building a Healthy Circular Relationship
Success in circular relationships depends heavily on self-awareness from both individuals. Before considering reconciliation, ensure you've both genuinely reflected on, understood, and outgrown the behaviors that caused the initial breakup.
Avoid returning to an ex simply because you feel lonely. The decision should stem from genuine romantic desire for that specific person, not just the comfort of having a partner.
Take things slowly and acknowledge your history. Don't pretend the breakup never happened. Have those difficult conversations about what went wrong initially. Go on proper dates instead of immediately playing house, and focus on building a new dynamic together.
When both partners take accountability for their past actions and commit to their new roles, circular relationships can become the best decision they ever made. However, without this commitment, the relationship can quickly deteriorate into an undefined situationship.
The concept of "right person, wrong time" might be more than just a romantic notion—it could reflect the reality for many couples who find their way back to each other stronger and more committed than before.
