Orbiting: The New Digital Phenomenon in Modern Relationships
Modern relationships are transforming at a rapid pace, shaped heavily by digital connectivity, evolving social norms, and a generation that is actively redefining love on its own terms. As these changes unfold, a new vocabulary, driven by Gen Z, emerges daily to describe the complexities of contemporary courtship. One such term that has gained significant traction is orbiting.
What Exactly Does Orbiting Mean?
Orbiting describes a specific behaviour in the dating world. It occurs when someone ceases all direct communication, such as texting or calling, but continues to actively engage with your digital footprint. This includes watching your Instagram stories, liking old posts, or periodically viewing your profile. Essentially, they are circling your online life without ever making a real landing. This term became popular with the rise of dating apps and platforms like Instagram, which make passive, low-effort connection incredibly easy. Unlike ghosting, where a person disappears entirely, orbiting leaves a trail of digital breadcrumbs, creating confusion and false hope.
Why Do People Orbit Their Exes or Dates?
The motivations behind orbiting are varied and often rooted in complex emotions. People typically orbit out of curiosity, jealousy, loneliness, or a fear of missing out (FOMO). An ex-partner might check your social media to see if you have moved on, seeking a sense of connection without the burden of commitment. Research indicates that individuals with anxious attachment styles are more prone to this behaviour, often turning to social media monitoring as a source of comfort when they feel distressed after a breakup. It allows them to keep you on their radar without investing any real effort.
Recognising the Signs You're Being Orbited
How can you tell if you are a victim of orbiting? Look for these inconsistent patterns: they view every single one of your stories but never send a direct message, they sporadically like your posts from weeks or months ago, or they might tag you in memes without any follow-up conversation. There are no meaningful chats or concrete plans, just persistent digital lurking. This behaviour creates powerful mixed signals—just enough presence to keep hope alive, but absolutely zero commitment. Another classic red flag is if they repeatedly cancel dates at the last minute.
The Emotional Toll and How to Handle It
The emotional impact of orbiting should not be underestimated. It can be deeply confusing and painful, effectively preventing closure after a relationship ends. You might find yourself overanalysing every like or view, hoping it signals a desire for reconciliation, only to feel rejected all over again. This cycle erodes trust and significantly increases anxiety for both parties involved. The target feels strung along, while the orbiter avoids any real accountability. Psychologists note that this pattern perpetuates unhealthy attachment cycles, making it much harder to move on in our hyper-connected world.
To protect your emotional well-being, consider taking decisive action. Block or mute them on all social media platforms. The old adage out of sight, out of mind often holds true. Redirect your energy towards people who communicate with you directly and honestly. If you are currently dating someone who exhibits this behaviour, it can be effective to call it out directly. Try saying something like, I've noticed you like my posts but we haven't spoken—what's going on? Setting clear boundaries early is crucial. Remember, real connections require active effort, not just passive emojis and story views. Always prioritise your emotional health over digital breadcrumbs.
