Finding true love feels incredibly difficult in today's world. You match with someone on a dating app, everything seems perfect, and then they suddenly disappear. You plan a dream wedding only to face divorce later. Modern romance appears more complicated than ever before.
The Core Problem with Modern Relationships
Everyone searches for that special person to complete their heart. Yet genuine connection seems harder to achieve daily. Spiritual teacher Sister Shivani recently shared profound insights on this universal struggle.
During an interview with Smita Prakash for the ANI Podcast, Sister Shivani addressed why people find love elusive today. She presented a radically different approach to relationships.
Stop Seeking, Start Giving
"Spirituality teaches us not to seek love, not to find love," Sister Shivani stated clearly. "Go into the relationship to give love. We don't go into a relationship to get love. You're going into the relationship to give love."
This philosophy centers on pure giving without expectation of receiving anything in return. Sister Shivani elaborated how this mindset transformation can save marriages, friendships, and even parent-child bonds.
Why Modern Relationships Fail
"Earlier when people used to divorce, there used to be an issue; when there's an issue you can talk about it and there'll be a solution," she explained. "Now they just say, 'I don't want to live with this person. I'm not getting anything from them.'"
This statement reveals the fundamental problem according to Sister Shivani. People enter relationships primarily to receive something - affection, security, validation, or companionship. When those expectations remain unfulfilled, they abandon the relationship.
"So which means I went to get something from the relationship," she continued. "Yes, and I'm not getting, so why should I give? So we don't have to go into a relationship to get; we have to go to give."
The Healing Power of One Giver
Sister Shivani emphasized that relationships don't require both partners to adopt this giving mindset immediately. Even one person practicing unconditional giving can transform the dynamic completely.
"If even one out of the two people in a relationship is a giver, the relationship will heal," she assured. "But if both seek something from the other, without giving then the relationship won't work."
Practical Application in Daily Life
Imagine your spouse arrives home stressed and snaps at you unexpectedly. Instead of retaliating or withdrawing, you offer them tea or a comforting hug. Watch how their defensive walls gradually crumble.
Givers possess this remarkable ability to heal relationships. Scientific research actually supports this concept through studies on "generosity cycles" where kindness begets more kindness.
Sister Shivani explained this natural mirroring effect. When one person consistently gives love without conditions, their partner eventually begins reflecting that generosity back. Conflicts dissolve as this healing cycle gains momentum.
Beyond Gender Roles: Soul Power
The spiritual teacher shattered stereotypes about who should give in relationships. She emphasized that giving transcends gender completely.
"So in every house, if everyone is like this, then there's only conflict," Sister Shivani observed. "If one is a giver, you'll make the other person also a giver because you'll strengthen them... it's not about man or woman. It's about a soul."
She provided striking examples of this soul-based giving. Sometimes children give emotional support to depleted parents. Some parents receive empowerment from their spiritually mature children.
"Because their souls, on a past journey, they've got those sanskaras with them," she explained. "We have children who bring their parents to the Meditation Center."
Any soul can embrace this giving role regardless of age, gender, or relationship position. "Any soul can play that part," Sister Shivani affirmed. "So go into the relationship to give love."
Your Relationship Audit Tonight
Try this simple exercise today. Examine your important relationships and identify what makes you unhappy about them. Instead of complaining or withdrawing, consciously flip to giving mode.
- Is your marriage experiencing strain? Volunteer to help your partner first. Offer support and love without waiting for reciprocation.
- Did a friend suddenly stop communicating? Reach out to them with warmth and understanding.
- Are parent-child relationships tense? Initiate kindness without expectation.
Become the giver in your relationships and observe how this simple shift transforms your bonds. Sister Shivani's wisdom suggests that when we stop seeking love and start giving it freely, we might just find what we've been searching for all along.
