Janhvi Kapoor's Candid Confession: From Star Kid to Self-Validation
In a remarkably honest and introspective conversation, Bollywood actor Janhvi Kapoor has opened up about her personal struggles with self-worth and the pervasive need for external validation. Speaking with senior journalist Barkha Dutt on the talk show 'We The Women', Kapoor delved deep into the psychological journey she undertook to value herself and her artistry independently of her famous lineage.
The Realisation: Waiting for External Praise
Janhvi Kapoor revealed a pivotal moment in her career and personal growth. "Fame, I guess, came easily to me by virtue of whose daughter I was," she stated, referring to her late mother, the legendary actress Sridevi. This early and automatic recognition, she explained, created a unique dynamic. "So, I never felt that I wanted eyeballs. That has always come my way—whether it's a good thing or a bad thing."
However, this external attention did not translate to internal confidence. Kapoor described a period of waiting: "And I kept waiting for someone to tell me, 'I respect you,' or 'I look up to your work,' or 'You're doing a good job.'" She emphasized that this external seeking was ultimately unfulfilling. The breakthrough came when she understood that validation must originate from within.
Embracing Internal Respect and Confidence
The 'Mr. & Mrs. Mahi' actor articulated her new-found philosophy with clarity. "Whenever you enter a room, a work environment, whenever you are told how to feel about yourself, you need to decide on your own that I believe in myself, then everything else follows," she asserted.
Kapoor detailed her current mindset on set: "So, I don't know whether I'm getting that respect from outside or not. I'm just trying to do my work—with sincerity and dedication, and with hard work. And I respect myself. I know that when I go on set, I know my work, and seeing that, other people respect me." This shift, she noted, was empowering and essential. "Until you recognise your own skill set, until you recognise what you have to offer, what you bring to the table, no one is your mother, son, or uncle who will do it for you. You have to give it to yourself… you have to place yourself at that level on your own."
Expert Insight: The Psychology of External Validation
Janhvi Kapoor's reflections touch upon a widespread psychological pattern, particularly affecting women. To understand the roots and implications, we consulted Dr. Ashish Pandey, a Counselling Psychologist at Mano Srijan Wellness Centre in Kanpur.
Why Do Many Seek Approval from Others?
According to Dr. Pandey, the quest for external validation is often a product of deep-seated social conditioning. "Many women seek external validation due to a combination of social conditioning, emotional learning, and relationship dynamics," he explained. "This tendency is not a flaw in their personality, but rather a pattern that has developed over the years."
He outlined the developmental trajectory:
- Early Socialization: Girls are frequently encouraged from a young age to be polite, pleasing, and accommodating. They are often praised for being helpful, cooperative, or emotionally available.
- Cultural Reinforcement: Movies, romantic narratives, and family expectations can perpetuate the idea that worth is confirmed by a partner or external approval.
- Approval-Based Identity: Over time, this can lead to an identity where self-worth becomes intrinsically linked to how others respond, creating a dependency on external emotional confirmation.
The Struggle to Recognise One's Own Skills
Dr. Pandey further elucidated why individuals, despite evident competence, often fail to acknowledge their own abilities. "Our belief system, shaped from childhood through to adulthood, plays a significant role in how we perceive our abilities," he noted.
Key factors include:
- Imposter Syndrome: The persistent feeling that success is due to luck or external factors rather than one's own talent and effort.
- Low Self-Esteem: A fundamental belief of not being "good enough," which overshadows objective evidence of skill.
- Negative Core Beliefs: Deeply ingrained thoughts formed through childhood criticism or unfavorable comparisons, reinforcing ideas like "I'm not capable."
- Perfectionism: Unrealistically high self-expectations that make any achievement feel insufficient.
- Dependence on External Validation: Relying on others' approval for a sense of worth, which stifles the development of genuine, internal confidence.
"Altogether, old beliefs, self-doubt, and perfectionistic tendencies overshadow the reality of their achievements, making it difficult for them to see their true capabilities," Dr. Pandey concluded.
The Critical Importance of Self-Validation in High-Pressure Careers
Janhvi Kapoor's experience in the film industry underscores a universal truth for demanding professions. Dr. Pandey emphasized that self-validation is not just beneficial but crucial in fields like entertainment, medicine, corporate leadership, and sports.
"In these fields, external praise is inconsistent, expectations are relentless, and criticism can be frequent," he explained. "Without the ability to affirm oneself internally, individuals often experience burnout, chronic self-doubt, and a debilitating dependence on others' approval to feel competent or worthy."
The volatility of external feedback makes inner grounding essential. Relying solely on outside opinions for confidence can lead to significant emotional instability and hinder long-term performance and well-being.
Building a Strong Internal Sense of Worth: Practical Steps
For those seeking to cultivate self-validation, Dr. Pandey recommends several actionable practices:
- Daily Self-Check-Ins: Pause regularly to consciously acknowledge and celebrate small wins and personal progress, no matter how minor they may seem.
- Strength Journaling: Maintain a dedicated journal to note down the specific skills and strengths you effectively utilized each day. This practice helps rewire negative self-perception over time.
- Internal Affirmations: Actively shift your internal dialogue. Move from questions like "Am I good enough?" to affirming statements such as "I handled this situation well" or "I am capable and learning."
- Mindfulness and Reflection: Engage in practices that help you connect with your intrinsic value, separating it from external roles or achievements.
Janhvi Kapoor's journey from relying on her inherited fame to forging her own path of self-respect offers a powerful narrative. It highlights a critical lesson in personal development: true and sustainable confidence must be built from the inside out, a principle that resonates far beyond the glittering world of Bollywood.
