Prominent Bollywood actor Shefali Shah has delivered a powerful and deeply personal account of her first marriage, revealing the severe emotional abuse she endured and her courageous decision to walk away. In a recent, candid interview, she highlighted how such psychological harm remains a dangerous taboo in society.
The Breaking Point: "This Can Kill Me"
Reflecting on her turbulent marriage to actor Harsh Chhaya, which lasted from 1994 until their separation a few years later, Shefali Shah described reaching a critical juncture. The couple, who starred together in the popular 1996 Zee TV show Hasratein, faced significant turmoil behind the scenes.
"Nobody told me that you are enough. You don't need a husband, a friend, a brother, a sister to be complete. You are enough," Shah revealed. She explained that this realisation dawned only after persistent suffering. "It comes to a point where it's make or break for you... There's that one moment when you realise, 'Okay, this can kill me. I can't do this anymore.'"
Choosing Solitude Over a Damaging Marriage
The actor pinpointed a pivotal conversation with a close friend that cemented her resolve to leave. When asked if she would rather risk lifelong solitude than remain in the marriage, her answer was definitive. "No, I will take that chance. If I have to live alone for the rest of my life, I will do it," she stated.
Shefali Shah emphasized that she refused to stay in a situation where she felt unhappy, unconfident, and undervalued. Following the separation, she experienced living alone for the first time, spending a year by herself which she says was a crucial period of self-rediscovery.
Calling Out the Taboo of Emotional Abuse
In the same interview, Shefali Shah addressed the pervasive and often dismissed nature of emotional abuse. She expressed frustration with the common minimisation of such trauma, where the absence of physical violence is wrongly used to invalidate psychological pain.
"A lot of people go through it... And you're always told, and the constant question is, 'Well, he didn't hit you, right?'" she said, explaining how this mindset normalises shouting, demeaning comments, and screaming. "What you don't realise is the kind of damage that is doing to you. It breaks you completely as a person."
Shah noted that when she speaks about emotional abuse, people often dismiss it as mere fighting or common relationship strife. "They say that's common in every relationship. So I had to share it," she asserted, underlining her motivation to break the silence.
Shefali Shah has also spoken in the past about facing ingrained sexism, particularly from her in-laws after her second marriage to producer Vipul Shah in 2000. She recalled being questioned about her long shooting hours in a way her husband never was, highlighting the double standards that persist.
By sharing her story, Shefali Shah joins a growing chorus of voices aiming to destigmatise conversations around mental and emotional well-being in relationships, offering a message of resilience and self-worth.
