Couples sex therapist Karen Doherty, who serves as the resident therapist on Netflix's popular show Blue Therapy, has identified several warning signs of infidelity that many women tend to overlook in their relationships. She frequently works with clients seeking help to resolve marital problems during what she calls the 'relentless years,' often associated with midlife.
'Teens, careers, menopause, man in midlife crisis, ageing parents, it's all too much, and they've lost each other in the melee,' Doherty told The Daily Mail.
Pleasant but Not Present
Your spouse may be physically at home but mentally elsewhere. He might even appear pleasant, yet somehow not fully engaged. According to Doherty, this is a telltale sign. 'When there's a third person involved, there's a much more palpable 'checking out.' You may notice he's not as reciprocal. You may sense he's lost curiosity around you and the relationship – because his curiosity is lodged elsewhere,' she explained. You can truly discern the difference between someone who is present and someone who is merely occupying space.
Confusing or Harsh Behavior
Your partner may suddenly become unpredictable, making it difficult to gauge his mood and demeanor. When a third person enters your husband's life, this confusion intensifies. He may start criticizing more frequently, and blame becomes an everyday occurrence. You will recognize an air of negativity that did not exist before. This frustration might stem from guilt he feels. 'He might criticise how you look, how you do something, your friends, how you go about life. His simmering discontent will feel quite new and confusing,' the therapist said.
Bickering Takes Over
When two people share a home and life, arguments are inevitable. However, healthy conflict differs from corrosive bickering. When discontentment enters the relationship, there is less fighting and more squabbling. 'Your communication may be full of sarcasm, contempt, and disrespect. Bickering and nitpicking are signs a couple has lost the ability to discuss, negotiate, and navigate issues. It reflects emotional distance. And it's when there's space that affairs can happen,' Doherty noted.
Sex Is 'Good Enough,' but Intimacy Fades
This is perhaps one of the most confusing signs. Your partner may withdraw from intimacy, but that does not necessarily mean a lack of sex. 'A lot else may not be going well, but sex carries on. It may not be particularly sensual, intimate, or erotic. It's what I call 'good enough' sex. And couples can pretend if they're having sex, everything's OK,' the therapist explained. You will notice less hand-holding, hand on the back, kissing, or checking in.
It's No Longer Funny
Things that once made you both laugh are no longer amusing. Humor is a form of intimacy, and when it leaves the relationship, it usually signals trouble. 'If all is well, you tolerate your partner leaving their floss by the sink, or their absurd way of stacking the dishwasher. But if a relationship is in trouble, people stop accepting these irritations. It's usually because there's been a lot of disappointment,' she said. If you cannot share a good laugh with your partner, it is a red flag.
