From MTV VJ to Bollywood actor to stay-at-home mom and then an entrepreneur, Amrita Arora Ladak has had an exciting and fulfilling journey. She recently opened a restaurant in Goa and lives on both sides of the glare: paparazzi culture, trolls weighing in on her choices, and the reality of raising two teenagers in today's competitive world.
In a conversation with Sidhi Kapoor, Arora divulges the truth about celebrity mom-life and shares some precious life lessons for her sons.
How Would You Introduce Yourself Today: Actor, Mom, Entrepreneur, or All Three?
Well, I don't really like labelling myself. It's funny to say, 'I am a mom or an entrepreneur.' That's like being put in a box. I feel I'm a little bit of everything, but if I've to give myself a label, it would be 'mom'.
What Does a Typical Day in Amrita Arora's Life Look Like Now Versus 10 Years Ago?
My day starts by waking up with my children and sending them off to school. Of course, they are grown-up big boys now, but I still see them off. Then, I hit the gym. After that, I take a couple of meetings related to my restaurant. In the evenings, I like going out with my husband (businessman Shakeel Ladak). So, it's pretty much a simple life. I like it that way.
You Became a Mom to Azaan in 2010 and Rayaan in 2012. What Was the Biggest Surprise About Motherhood That No One Warned You About?
Every year is different and you look back at things and wish you did certain things differently. When I had a question, I used to ask my mom and Malla (Mallaika) and they both would be like: 'Oh, we have forgotten.' So, it is pretty much your own journey with your children and husband. Organically, through mistakes and things that have not panned out the way I thought, motherhood is like a wakeup call. It's an emotional journey but very fulfilling. I cannot think of my life in any other way, and my two children are the most important beings in my life.
Did You Parent Differently the Second Time Around? What Did You Unlearn or Relearn?
I keep apologising to Azaan a lot. I tell him: 'I learnt from you and the mistakes I made!' When Rayaan came, things were a lot easier. I was a pro the second time around. With my first child, every moment was overwhelming. I would panic if he had a fever or sometimes when I thought I was not feeding him enough, and things like that. The second time around, things were easier as I had more experience. Of course, I had moments with the younger one as well, but it was still easier.
Have You Faced Teen Drama?
Azaan is 16 and Ray is 13. I did have my moments of teen issues, but they both are genuinely good kids. Little hiccups will always be there but then parenting is a little bit of friendship too, so as parents you need to balance the situation as you go along.
How Do You Handle Paparazzi Culture and Constant Public Attention Around Your Kids? Any Rules You've Set as a Family?
When there are paparazzi, they run! I tell them to stand for one picture, but they find it cringe (laughs). Then, of course, there are certain things we are particular about since they are at an impressionable age. As teens, they want to go out but then there's an age limit. We tell them not to get carried away since there is exposure to a lot of things. Sometimes, you have to take things with a pinch of salt. I believe your kids should be transparent with you; they should not hide anything. They look at me more like a friend, so thankfully both children confide in me and Shakeel all the time.
How Do You Keep Your Sons Grounded Despite the Glamour Around Them?
I think I'm pretty far removed from Bollywood now. But my sons have a little concept of it now because their aunt is very famous. Sometimes, when they are out, they get clicked, but I think it's not brought home. It's not a major conversation. It doesn't affect them…it's no big deal. Right now, the only excitement kids have is going out and partying with their friends. So Azaan gets to go out a bit. I know all his friends. It's very important to know if they are in a safe environment and whether he's hanging out with the right crowd. This makes a huge difference.
After Becoming a Mom, How Did Your Relationship with Work Change? Was Stepping Back a Choice or Did It Just Happen?
Earlier, I didn't do anything. I gave my complete time to my children when they were smaller. It was during the pandemic that I considered opening a restaurant in Goa. Sometimes, my mum took care of them at home. At other times, my kids would join me for work trips. The shift automatically happened. Kids need to see their mother working. I try to strike a balance between being a stay-at-home mom and a working mother. The grounding was very real. They used to have me in their face 24x7. At some point, I felt I needed to distance myself a bit and let my kids see me working. I was a helicopter mom, and then the kids were tired of seeing me all the time (laughs). Now they are super proud of me and the restaurant. They take pride in talking about it. They are learning that dreams do come true and hard work pays off. Even for Mallaika and me, our mom was always a working mom. She's done it forever. So, the work ethic is ingrained in us since childhood. Our children also know that. Children growing up need that inspiration.
Do You Have a Good Support System to Help You Strike a Balance?
Shakeel, my husband, has always held my hand. I will give him full credit. Anything I want to do, he supports me and encourages me throughout. He is the backbone of our family. Touch wood!
Social Media Shows a Lot of 'Perfect Mom' Content. What's the Reality of Celebrity Motherhood That People Don't See?
People don't see the normalcy of celebrity life. People think celebrity moms are 'spa moms.' The impression is such. At the end of the day, we are no different from anybody. When people see us in our natural habitat, they say, 'You are so normal.' Obviously, we are not abnormal! It's the work that gets you fame and scrutiny. Like my parlour girl should be my hero. She comes from so far away, and works all day. People are all the same and very normal and so are celebrities.
Trolls and Unsolicited Advice Come Free with Instagram. Have You Ever Faced Judgment About Your Parenting Online?
Hundreds of times! Like I had put on weight in the past so people have been pretty brutal while commenting on social media. Sometimes, I do look at comments, and it irritates and hurts. You feel bad for a day or so. Shakeel keeps telling me to not read, but when you're scrolling, you do tend to read a few comments. These trolls have no work. They will comment on everyone, but it hurts.
What Advice Would You Give to New Moms in Showbiz or Otherwise?
New moms just need to give themselves a pat on the back. They should know they are doing a great job. As a new mom, you are always overthinking. You don't give yourself too much credit for giving birth and looking after the human you carried for nine months. Every mom should know they are doing their best. Do not get influenced by others. Don't look at someone else's journey and think why is mine not the same. Don't look at anyone for validation. Do everything to the best of your abilities.
One Life Lesson for Your Children...
I want to raise happy children who are content with the way they look, with whatever they will do in their lives. Not because I am doing this interview, but I honestly believe that if you have happy and healthy children, you are blessed.
