She came from Shimla to Mumbai with dreams of becoming a star, but the path was not easy. A director dismissed Rubina Dilaik, saying she had a negative face and would never play a protagonist. She proved him wrong with her breakthrough role in the hit daily soap Chhoti Bahu, later winning acclaim for her portrayal of a trans woman in the social drama Shakti. The winner of Bigg Boss 14 and mother of twins spoke to Neha Bhayana about pregnancy, parenting, and the pressure of being the perfect mother.
Double the Fun or Double the Trouble?
Honestly, it is both. There are moments of complete exhaustion because twins require double the attention, energy, patience, and emotional involvement. But at the same time, it is also double the love, laughter, and joy. Watching them grow together, respond to each other, and develop their own bond is incredibly special. Motherhood has completely changed my priorities and perspective. Even on the most tiring days, one smile from them makes everything feel worth it.
Hosting The Ward: A Reality Show on Pregnancy
What drew me to The Ward was the honesty of the concept. Motherhood is often shown in a polished and idealistic way, but this show explores the emotional, physical, and psychological realities of pregnancy authentically. Surprisingly, it never felt chaotic because there was a natural sense of empathy and emotional connection. The biggest takeaway was realizing how universal certain emotions are during pregnancy. Regardless of backgrounds, every woman carries similar fears, hopes, and anxieties.
Dealing with Mom-Guilt and Balancing Work
Mom-guilt is something almost every working mother experiences silently. Even when you know your children are safe, there is always a part of you that wonders if you are giving enough time. Earlier, I was very hard on myself, but motherhood taught me that balance does not mean perfection. Some days work needs me more, and some days my daughters are my entire focus. I try to stay emotionally present whenever I am with them, and quality of time matters more than quantity.
What I Wish I Had Known Before Becoming a Mother
I wish someone had told me that it is okay to not have everything figured out immediately. Motherhood is beautiful but also emotionally overwhelming, confusing, and exhausting. There is so much pressure on women to become perfect mothers while managing every other aspect of life. I wish more people spoke openly about postpartum emotions, mental exhaustion, hormonal changes, and the identity shift women go through. Those conversations make women feel less alone.
Supporting Moms Instead of Scrutinizing Them
Mothers are already carrying an enormous emotional and physical responsibility. The last thing they need is constant judgment. Every mother has moments of exhaustion, frustration, self-doubt, and emotional breakdown. Society often expects mothers to be endlessly patient and composed, which is unrealistic. Women should feel safe to talk honestly about these moments without being labelled a bad mother. Support, empathy, and understanding are far more important than criticism.
Coping with Mom Brain
The first step is acknowledging that this phase is real and normal. Women go through massive hormonal, emotional, and physical changes after childbirth, so it is natural to feel overwhelmed. I have experienced forgetfulness and mental exhaustion. Instead of being harsh on yourself, slow down, rest whenever possible, ask for help, and stop expecting to function at full capacity immediately. Emotional support from family plays a huge role in feeling mentally lighter during postpartum recovery.
Normalizing Fertility Struggles
Fertility struggles are far more common than people realize, but many couples suffer silently due to societal pressure and stigma. It is important to normalize these conversations because infertility does not make anyone incomplete. Every couple's journey is different, and there should be more emotional sensitivity. Women should not feel pressured or constantly questioned about motherhood during such a vulnerable phase.
C-Section Recovery and Misconceptions
The comparison between C-section and normal delivery is extremely unfair and insensitive. Bringing a child into the world in any form requires immense physical strength, endurance, and courage. A C-section is a major surgery, and recovery can be physically and mentally demanding. Women deal with pain, healing, hormonal changes, and motherhood simultaneously. No mother is taking an easy route. Every delivery journey deserves equal respect.
Strict or Soft Parent?
I am naturally soft and emotionally expressive because I want my daughters to feel emotionally secure and understood. At the same time, discipline is important because children learn through structure and consistency. I am trying to find a balance between nurturing and being firm when necessary. Motherhood teaches me every day that parenting does not come with a fixed rulebook. You grow and evolve along with your children.
Biggest Challenge for Today's Parents
One of the biggest challenges is raising emotionally secure children in a world that is constantly distracted, fast-paced, and digitally overwhelming. Parents today balance careers, responsibilities, social pressure, and technology while being emotionally available. Another challenge is the comparison culture created by social media, where parenting becomes a competition instead of a personal journey. Children need emotionally present parents more than perfect parents, and maintaining that emotional connection is the most important challenge.
