In the evolving landscape of Indian parenting, a central question emerges: how does one teach traditional values in a world of material abundance? Pooja Sardana, a strategy consultant and parent, grapples with this modern dilemma in a piece first published on December 23, 2025. She argues that while core principles like hard work and perseverance remain vital, the old framework of teaching them through scarcity has become obsolete for many affluent families.
The Shift from Scarcity to Abundance
Sardana reflects on her own childhood, where values were often bundled with practical constraints. Waiting for birthdays or Diwali for new clothes, wearing hand-me-downs, or saving special treats for guests were common lessons in patience and thrift. The underlying reason was honest and straightforward: limited resources.
Today, as a parent who has achieved financial comfort far beyond her mother's imagination, that logic falls flat. She can provide new clothes year-round, numerous toys, and frequent treats like ordering tiramisu. Artificial deprivation, she finds, rings hollow and even punitive to her children's generation. This was starkly highlighted when her Gen Z office team criticized her for refusing to buy her 14-year-old daughter the latest iPhone while upgrading her own, intended as a lesson in earning desires.
Crafting Authentic Experiences Over Fake Deprivation
Sardana's solution is not to manufacture scarcity but to design authentic, experiential learning. Instead of denying the iPhone, she bought it but also got her daughter a rescued cat she had wanted. The daily responsibility of caring for the pet—like cleaning up before it is litter-trained—teaches commitment and consequence in a way words cannot.
Her family consciously creates scenarios where effort naturally precedes reward. They go sledding, where the joy of the ride is inseparable from the labour of dragging the sled back uphill. They upcycle clothes and carry bags to the market not out of necessity, but from a conscious choice about consumption. Ordering food is limited, not primarily due to cost, but from an understanding that you can only eat so many feelings.
Observing the Real Metrics of Character
The author's focus has shifted from enforcing arbitrary waits to observing her children's intrinsic behaviours. She now watches for what they persist with, how they handle discomfort, and their self-talk when expectations aren't met. These patterns, she believes, are truer indicators of character development than whether a child waited six months for a toy.
Some traditional values, like blind respect for elders regardless of their behaviour, are rightly being questioned, with children encouraged to speak up. However, Sardana concludes that enduring values like hard work, patience, and perseverance are non-negotiable. The real task for contemporary parents is to evolve their teaching tools. The goal is no longer to simulate lack but to curate honest, real-world experiences that impart these lessons organically.
