Marriage is not a perfect fairy tale. It is a beautiful, messy journey where two people learn to stay together through life's storms. Sudha Murthy understands this deeply. The beloved author, philanthropist, and wife of Infosys co-founder Narayana Murthy shared profound marriage wisdom at the India Today Conclave in 2024.
Accepting Fights as Part of Marriage
Sudha Murthy offered practical advice that feels both refreshing and real. She reminded everyone that fights are not the enemy of love. Instead, they are an integral part of any marriage. What truly matters is how couples handle these conflicts. This approach determines whether a marriage can withstand life's many challenges.
"When you are married, you are bound to fight. Accept that," she said gently. "If you have never fought, then you are not husband and wife."
Imagine that statement in today's world. Social media often showcases "perfect" couples with filtered vacation photos and anniversary celebrations. Sudha Murthy's words feel like a warm, reassuring hug. They normalize the natural ups and downs of married life.
The Art of Staying Calm During Conflict
Sudha Murthy and Narayana Murthy have been married for over fifty years. They raised a family, built lasting legacies, and faced numerous highs and lows together. Their secret to a long lasting marriage does not involve avoiding conflicts. It revolves around embracing them with grace and emotional intelligence.
Talking about resolving marital fights, Sudha Murthy shared a simple yet powerful rule. "When you fight, and one person is upset, the second should be cool, and should not open their mouth."
How many arguments could couples avoid by following this advice? Picture a heated moment where one partner's voice rises with raw emotion. Instead of snapping back, the other chooses to stay quiet. This allows the emotional storm to pass without causing further damage.
Practical Wisdom from a 50-Year Partnership
Sharing insights from her own life with Narayana Murthy, Sudha explained their approach. "When Murty is angry, I will never talk. Let him pour out. I will not talk...When I am angry, he keeps quiet. In real life, I keep quiet most of the time. You should never get upset together because that is the recipe for further fights."
This strategy is worth pondering. When one partner speaks, the other listens not out of defeat, but from deep respect and love. Those quiet pauses create space for understanding. They let the storm pass without wrecking the relationship's foundation.
Emotional Intelligence in Action
Staying quiet during vulnerable moments is not about suppressing feelings. It is emotional intelligence at its finest. Sudha Murthy's method focuses on de-escalation. Simply put, it means giving your partner room to vent while actively protecting the relationship.
For young couples just starting their journey or seasoned partners feeling worn, this tip offers genuine hope. It humanizes marriage, shifting the focus from perfection to perseverance. The next time voices rise in your home, remember to pause. Take a deep breath. Let silence heal what harsh words might otherwise harm.
Sudha Murthy's advice transforms conflicts from threats into opportunities for growth. It reinforces that lasting love is built not on the absence of fights, but on the wisdom to navigate them together.
