Conversations about dying and death are often met with awkward silence, dark humour or exhortations to “be brave and move on.” For 54-year-old Viresh Kumar Sharma, the sage advice people gave after his son died by suicide in November 2023 only seemed tone-deaf and insensitive. Sharma’s son was suffering from bipolar disorder and had attempted self-harm before. But nothing prepared the Patna-based banker for the grief ahead.
A Father’s Journey Through Grief
“Initially, I was in shock and that turned to guilt and pain. He was 23 years old and as parents we had done everything we could, putting in all our money and resources for his treatment,” Sharma says. Therapy helped little. “On the surface, I had gone back to everyday life…. but I had slipped into depression,” he explains. This worsened until he joined an online grief support group for parents who had lost their children.
Finding Understanding in Shared Pain
“For the first time, I felt understood. A child’s death is not like any other relative or family member’s death. Only another parent understands what it means,” Sharma says. The group became a safe space where he could talk openly about his loss without judgment. Members share stories over virtual coffee and cake, breaking the taboo around discussing death.
The Importance of Grief Support
Experts emphasize that grief support groups can be crucial for healing. They provide a community where individuals can express their emotions freely. Sharma’s experience highlights the need for more such initiatives to help people cope with loss, especially in a society where mental health discussions are often stigmatized.
By normalizing conversations about death, we can create a more compassionate environment for those grieving. Sharma now volunteers with the group, offering support to other parents facing similar tragedies.
