The Times of India presents 'Thirukkural with the Times', exploring real-world lessons from the classic Tamil text 'Thirukkural'. Written by Tamil poet and philosopher Thiruvalluvar, the Kural consists of 1,330 short couplets of seven words each. This text is divided into three books with teachings on virtue, wealth, and love and is considered one of the great works ever on ethics and morality. The Kural has influenced scholars and leaders across social, political, and philosophical spheres. Motivational speaker, author and diversity champion Bharathi Bhaskar explores the masterpiece.
The Spectacle of Separation
When actor Ravi Mohan stood before the press recently and opened the chambers of his heart — raw, anguished, unfiltered — the internet did not pause to grieve. It feasted. Within hours, YouTubers who had never witnessed the fragile private weather of his marriage began delivering confident verdicts on a life they had never lived. But beyond public debates and digital gossip lies a quieter reality. Separations today seem more visible than ever before. What unsettles us is not separation itself, but the spectacle into which it is transformed. We have all seen couples posting picture-perfect holidays, curated homes and radiant Instagram reels, only for news of their separation to emerge soon after. If they are celebrities, every social media platform erupts with opinions. If they are ordinary people, the noise shrinks to family circles. The art of dignified parting is slowly disappearing; every sorrow now seeks an audience. Relationships are becoming louder on social media and quieter within.
A Personal Story
A close friend of mine once fought a small revolution to marry the man she loved. There were confrontations with parents, tears and emotional upheaval. Yet within a few years came the announcement of divorce. When I asked whether she wished to speak about it, she simply said, 'He is absolutely non-communicative. That is not the person I want to spend a lifetime with.' The sentence stayed with me. When so many beautiful words had once built a love, could not a few honest words — spoken in time, face to face — have saved it? Today, couples often wish each other on birthdays through elaborate social media tributes while sitting under the very same roof. 'To my wonderful husband who always stands by me,' the post declares, adorned with hearts and smiling photographs. One wonders who the message is truly meant for. Somewhere along the way, we have become performers awaiting applause. We are connected to everyone online, while slowly disconnecting from the person beside us. And when difficult conversations are required, the digital world offers endless escape routes. We edit. We postpone. We type instead of talk.
Remembering Real Conversations
Recently, on a flight, I met an old colleague after nearly 20 years. After the customary exchange about careers and children, we found ourselves revisiting a memory from long ago — one night in our Mumbai office. Work had stretched late. Yet instead of leaving, five of us remained there talking for hours about dreams, fears, bosses, love and life. What endured from that friendship was not what we achieved together. It was that conversation. Perhaps many of our deepest memories of people are, in the end, memories of conversations.
Thiruvalluvar's Wisdom
Thiruvalluvar understood this centuries ago. In Kural 523, he writes: 'Alavalaavu Illaadhan Vaazhkkai KulavalaakKodindri Neer Nirainthathu.' 'A pond without embankments slowly loses its water unnoticed. Relationships too quietly drain away when conversations disappear.' I cannot but marvel at Thiruvalluvar's use of the word 'Alavalaavudhal'. He does not refer to idle chatter, but to meaningful, soulful conversation. What is life without such dialogue? It resembles a reservoir incapable of holding water.
The Call to Action
Experts say people today speak far less than they did a decade ago. Their advice sounds simple: put the phone down. Begin the conversation. Look someone in the eye. Say the difficult thing. Listen fully. For no algorithm can preserve what an honest conversation builds between two human beings. And perhaps many relationships would not collapse so completely — if only we had spoken more and posted less.
