Rujuta Diwekar, known for her no-nonsense advice on food and fitness, has now turned her attention to marriage with equally sharp insights. In a recent social media post, she addressed men directly, flipping the script on traditional expectations. Instead of asking women to 'adjust,' she places responsibility where it truly belongs. 'Whether the institution of marriage will stand the test of time will depend on the ability of men to adapt and not of women to adjust,' she wrote. Her three rules are not about being a 'nice guy' on paper, but about genuine emotional awareness, responsibility, and partnership-readiness in real life.
Rule 1: Understand Male Privilege
Diwekar advises men to marry only when they fully grasp what male privilege is. This privilege is often subtle: being served first, not being expected to do chores, having your career prioritized, or being complimented for doing the least at home. Understanding this privilege means recognizing that your comfort has often come at the cost of women's unpaid labor and emotional load. When you become aware of this, you stop seeing equality as a threat and start seeing it as the foundation of a respectful, modern partnership.
Rule 2: Marry Someone Focused on Their Own Career
The second rule is to marry a person who is more focused on their own career than on yours. This isn't about finding someone 'selfish'; it's about valuing a partner who has her own dreams, goals, and identity beyond your life. When you choose someone who prioritizes their career, you are actively rejecting the idea that a woman's role is to orbit around a man's success. This requires you to be secure enough to handle her ambition, growth, and achievements without feeling threatened. Such a relationship is built on mutual respect, where both partners cheer for each other instead of silently competing or expecting sacrifice from just one side.
Rule 3: Keep Wedding Budget to 3 Months of Salary
Diwekar's third rule is a direct challenge to the show-off wedding culture. Restricting your wedding budget to three months of your salary forces you to live within your means and reject pressure from society or extended family to overspend. It signals financial maturity, prioritizing savings, stability, and a stress-free start to married life over one extravagant day. A wedding should reflect the couple's values, not become a stage to prove status. Keeping the budget realistic also reduces the burden on families and sets a healthier tone for money conversations in the marriage.
Additional Advice
Diwekar also reminded men that while marriage is optional, married men tend to live longer, healthier, and happier than unmarried men. She emphasized the importance of being 'good marriage material' by learning household work, striving for work-life balance, and rising above the noise of 'being a man.' Most importantly, she noted that imposing your beliefs—whether religious, financial, or social—on your spouse restricts your growth. The strength of a marriage lies in two individuals thriving together.
